Tree of Providence

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Even though I have a bounty on my head, this issue is important enough to come out of hiding. The Troubled Assets Relief Program Alternate Reality Game is going to corrupt our nations children and I have pledged to help StopTarpARG.com do all they can to stop the TARP ARG.

I have the dubious honor of knowing three of these so-called TARP Puppetmasters, and I’ve now completed research on the other two, so I can bring you the facts about who they truly are.

Brian Cain is an Alien! As you can see by his photo, he cannot even be photographed normally with our current technology. This is not the first time this phenomenon has been captured – see this dessicated alien head found in Derbyshire garden that shows the same properties.

This alien is running a so-called Educational ARG to mold the thinking of the children of America. This is a lie! It’s obvious that he is just brainwashing them so that they will be more compliant to the alien take-over of the world that is coming within the next twenty years. It’s a long game, but a very effective one – UNLESS WE STOP THEM NOW!

Brian Clark is a self-proclaimed mutant, a secret masked dancer, and a general rabble rouser when it comes to ARG META issues. His eloquence belies the insidious nature of his comments. He talks about “love and support in my heart for this community” when it’s obvious he is just playing the upstanding members of the community so that they do not look to closely at what he is really saying. I’ve taken the time to go through all 200+ posts of his on the Unfiction forum, and have discovered a secret message running throughout: ALIENS R GREAT! We should all be outraged that this man-mutant is shaping the minds of our children!

Dee Cook is a Bambi killer and a hater of arachnophobics. Spend any amount of time around her, and she will casually suggest that you take a look at a picture. More often than not, these seemingly innocent suggestions are just her way of terrifying you as you are suddenly confronted with images of killer spiders! Is it any wonder that the IRC community has banded together and boycotted any links that she may give them? Of course not! If hardened IRC veterans are disturbed at what she so casually flings about, just imagine how scarred your children will be!

It’s a little known fact that mimes are natural alien repellents. This must be why Steve Peters’ new company No Mimes Media was formed – to spread anti-mime propaganda that would curtail their ability to fight aliens. There are also rumors spreading that Mr. Peters’ “Guess the TV Theme” mp3s on Twitter are filled with subliminal messages that promote his anti-mime agenda and the TARP conspiracy. Twitterers playing his little game should think twice about clicking on the links lest they become corrupted by the subliminal messages he is hiding.

Lance Weiler is not strictly an alien, but is the product of them. The “Empty Child” syndrome, as it is now known, turns individuals into gas mask wearing, soulless zombie-type creatures, who wander the streets looking for affection. Whatever you do, DO NOT touch these types of individuals. You will be turned into one of them – gas mask and all! If confronted by one of these poor creatures and are unable to escape, sternly give it a command like a parent to a four year old to leave you alone. If that doesn’t work, running away should.

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In order to help spread the word about the TARP ARG, I have created a series of protest signs. Please feel free to use these to spread the word and to help fight against TARP.

This is serious. There is an “Alternate Reality Game” being held at SXSW this year that is sponsored by the government. This “ARG” is set to corrupt the minds of the nations children and is being run by people who hate mimes, kill Bambi, dance in masks and some other unsavory people. It’s a total abomination.

Please visit Stop the TARP website, follow them on Twitter and listen to their voice message at 866-397-7406.

Every year (more or less), I make a puzzle trail for my friend strifey.

This year I’ve created the diabolical LABYRINTH OF DOOM.

And by diabolical, I mean filled with silly puzzles mostly based on coloring pages from such fun activity books such as Disney Princess, Scooby-Doo, Rainbow Brite, and of course, The Care Bears. This year is a little more difficult than the previous years, but still pretty easily solvable. Plus I give out pretty generous hints in case people get stuck (and people do get stuck on all different sorts of puzzles). So play along and drop me a message if you need some help!

Third straight Rose Bowl win for the USC Trojans!

Take that Penn State Nittany Lions!

This is the perfect way to start the new year off.

Dav had a really great write-up about the relationships between everyone in the Anwell Barierascu family tree. I thought I might do an illustrated example since I know some people do better with pictures than with words. Please note, most of the pictures I stole from the Internet – they are not to be taken as literal examples of the individuals pictured. The pictures of children represent the boys adopted by Spukhafte Ferwirkung. The red arrows with the date indicate the point in time in which the mind of Spukhafte switches to a new body. The blue line shows Anwell surviving (possibly in another host body until his original is discarded in 2005).

The dates are somewhat approximate – considering the source was less than accurate to begin with – but they should be close enough for government work.

• Introductions & The First Sacrifice
• The First Symbol
• The Second Sacrifice
• The Second Symbol
• The Third Sacrifice
• The Third Symbol
• The Final Sacrifice
• Meeting eXu
• Druids and The Sculptor

Final Update: Thank you guys for being so patient with me for getting this recap up. I really didn’t mean to get so sick and need to rest so much! Hopefully you’ll find this worth all the lulls in communication that occurred on Friday. Please feel free to ask questions if you don’t understand something, and I’ll try to answer them as soon as I can. Thank you everyone who helped out on Friday. This really was a team effort.

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Introductions & The First Sacrifice

I’m sure most of you heard about my adventure just getting to New York City. To recap, I got to the bus station at 2:45 am for the 3:05 am bus. It finally arrived at about 4:00 am – and it was full of people. I sorta snuck my way on the bus while the others were doing stuff with their luggage. Which was good because that meant I got a seat. Most of the others who came on after me had to sit in the aisle for 2 hours until we got to a spot where they could transfer to another bus.

Got into Port Authority, found someplace to grab some food and made my way down into the subway. Ended up going the wrong way on the C. Got on the right train and got off at the park. Entered near Strawberry Fields (which was on my little map) but i wasn’t sure what direction I had to go in. I asked a lady who was feeding the birds (and apparently ignoring all the signs not to) which way was South. She pointed me in one direction, but looking at my map a little closer, I decided to go in the opposite one. Walked through a bunch of Italian tourists, found a little information kiosk which was chock full of information except for where I actually was. Was there no budget for a sticker that says “YOU ARE HERE”? Kept walking a bit more. Saw the Angel Fountain and the Bandshell but neither were on the map that I had. Luckily, Biff helped out immensely, telling me to walk from the Angel to the Bandshell and I’d be going South. Right after I got up to the Bandshell, I could see the Eagles & Prey statue down a small hill. It’s 9:59 am. I call Rose, she’s just entering the park, so she’ll be there in 5-10 minutes.

Walking down to the statue, I see Art hanging out on the other side of it, while Bryce (in his incredibly bright blue pants) was wandering around on the edge of Sheep Meadow. I walked down by Art, and snapped off some shots of Eagles & Prey and Bryce. Art then asks me if my name was River, or Birdie, or something nature sounding. After I told him no, he said he was waiting for her. I told him I was waiting for friends as well, and walked over to a bench so I could call and check in, and try to get some shots of Art (which never happened, he kept walking out of my view). While I was talking to Biff, BA showed up. I could tell she was bothered by my cell, so I got off really quick and ran over to her. We talked for a moment, and she told me about a dream that she had on the way to the park – which matches pretty close to what appeared on BSeeingU with the butterflies. She then started staring at Bryce, saying that she recognized him. I told her who he was, and which one Art, and asked if she wanted to go talk to them. She really wasn’t too keen on the idea, so we decided to wait for the others.

Rose finally showed up, said hi to BA, and was very keen on going over to talk to Art. We start to walk over where Art was, and I think this is when McCreepy came up and started acting all chummy. He didn’t actually say much, but was trying to get under Art’s skin. We introduced ourselves to Art, and BA started looking around the statue for the start of our mission. She found a small box, that had several pieces of paper, a couple of metro cards, a Starbucks card, and a pair of scissors.

The first note told us what the box was for:

Sentry,

Enclosed you will find the tools you will need today. Hold them close.

Look around as you make your way through the city. Everywhere you look you will find a fellow Sentry. We will watch over you on this journey.

The second note told us what we needed to do at the statue:

Your first sacrifice, Sentry:

Take the scissors – Each Sentry must leave behind a lock of hair. Place the hair in the black box and leave it here.

BA, Rose and I all cut off a small bit of hair and placed it in the box. We told Art that he needed to as well. He tried to say that he wasn’t a Sentry, but we still convinced him that he had to do it. Hair in place, we put the box back, and waited for Cathy (Rose’s friend) and Johnny to show up. Once we had the entire group together, we all started walking off to a Starbucks so that we could solve the puzzle on the other piece of paper.

Read the rest of “The NYC Recap” »

I came, I saw, I walked 5000 miles, I went.

Updates tomorrow – it’s party and concert time tonight.

Broome County: THE POTENTIAL EXISTS FOR STORM TOTAL ACCUMULATIONS OF 6 TO 10
INCHES ACROSS THE REGION BY FRIDAY NIGHT…WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF
UP TO A FOOT OR MORE IN SOME LOCATIONS.

Manhatten: THE SNOW MAY MIX
WITH SLEET AND RAIN IN THE AFTERNOON…ESPECIALLY ALONG THE SOUTH
SHORE OF LONG ISLAND. THERE IS THE POTENTIAL FOR SNOWFALL ACCUMULATIONS
OF 6 OR MORE INCHES.

So in other words, I am going to be trudging around in 6″ of snow trying to stop power hungry idiots who don’t know how to schedule conferences in the spring, or at least in warmer climes.

Someone had better supply me with pie and a warm place to sleep when the snow/ice/Godzilla shut down all the bus lines out of the city.

And I don’t have to tell you how grumpy I’ll be if this gets canceled after I start traveling. Cancellation before 2am is fine. After and someone is gonna owe me something a lot bigger than pie.

Really Forsythe? A big meeting the Friday before Christmas in NYC? Did you also make a sacrifice to the bad weather gods at the same time?

Because I am dedicated to pissing you guys off after what you did to Devon right in front of me, I’ve decided to head to NYC no matter what the cost. Which is mounting considering I’ve had to take the day off of work and am now forced to take the Shortline bus from Binghamton to NYC because I can’t make the drive myself. I can sleep on the bus (which is a good thing since the early one leaves at 3am) but it also means that I have to ration what I can bring (since I can’t use my car as short term storage). No laptop. No book to read. No pie.

Let me repeat that last bit: NO FREAKING PIE!!! How are we gonna subdue the Tarot Killer without pie? Stupid fucking Forsythe.

I am bringing my camera, cell phone, various print outs, NYC map, and a small change of clothes. If I knew someone would let me stash my stuff in their place while we were out hunting for Art/Bryce/Peterbutt, I might make a pie. Or at least cookies. I make good cookies.

So if you have a place where I could drop my crap off, lemme know. Right now, I’m planning on getting into Port Authority around 7am. There is a later bus that arrives at 10am, but I don’t know what time the Forsythe Pie Party is starting, and I don’t want to be delayed due to weather. Leaving the city, I have two options, 8:30pm and 11:00pm, unless someone has a couch that I can crash on. But I gotta think that I can make the 11pm bus without too much of a problem.

So if you are in NYC and want to help a girl out at all, lemme know. Map and Biff (and possibly sid and varin) have my cell number. I’ll try to check in with them or at NC as much as I can. Feel free to call me, but try to keep text messages to a minimum. I have a lot of minutes, but no data plan.

I really hope this is worth it in the end.