My Date With 011iver

So yesterday was my big date with 011iver. I left the house at 2:30am to make the 3:05am bus down to NYC. Unlike the last time, this bus actually left on time. I tried to sleep on the bus, but whenever the driver had to get off the highway you could tell because you ended up getting thrown all around as he took the corners. All the fast driving meant we arrived in NYC 15 minutes ahead of schedule. I think I would rather have dozed a little bit longer.

After getting off the bus, I headed to the subway to head up to Central Park. Luckily I still had a Metro Card from the NYC Snow Day Adventure, so I didn’t have to pay for the subway. I got off at 72nd Street and retraced my steps back down to the Eagles and Prey statue. Central Park is much prettier in the summer than in the winter, I have to say. After paying my respects at the statue, I decided to walk north through the park with the idea of ending up near the American Museum of Natural History around 10am so that I could check that out if no one else decided to come see me.

At around 9:30am, I had ended up near the Natural History Museum and decided to call Rose to see what she was doing. She was willing to meet me for breakfast since neither one of us had eaten yet. It was decided that we should go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art since she lives on the east side of Central Park, so I walked back across the Park to meet her at MOMA.

Finally met Rose at around 11:00am – she had forgotten her inhalers and had to go back for them so she was a little late in getting to MOMA. We stopped and got some breakfast at the cafĂ©. I had some much needed (unsweetened!) hot tea and a bagel. Afterwards, Rose took me through to see some of her favorite collections in the museum while we discussed how we thought things in the community were going.

We left at 12:30pm so that I could have enough time to get over to Brooklyn. Since I only had train directions from 42nd Street/Times Square, we walked back across the Park so that I could catch the train back down to Port Authority. Saw a bunch of religious nuts handling out pamphlets and ranting as I walked the tunnel over to the Times Square station. That was fun. I had about a ten minute wait for the Express train to Brooklyn to come. I was glad I had the time of the Express train on one of my printouts, because the local train came first and I probably would have taken that and poor 011iver would have been waiting even longer for me.

Arrived at Grand Army Plaza around 1:45pm. As I started walking towards the Arch, I could see 011iver standing underneath it. I had a brief moment of panic as to what I was really doing. I wondered if it was too late for me to just turn around and get back on the subway and go home. But I had made a promise (and I had already twittered that I was there) so I continued on. The crosswalks around there are a little odd, so I had to go a little past the Arch in order to cross (safely) so it probably appeared to 011iver and Tim that I was coming from Prospect Park.

I’m not sure how long they had been waiting there, but they didn’t look too bored. When they noticed me, 011iver quickly grabbed the sign with my name on it and the bouquet of broccoli he had bought for me (thanks PostLarval). We introduced ourselves, and 011iver gave me the broccoli and a Transformers gift bag. I gave 011iver and Tim the gifts I had bought for them, plus the chocolate chip cookies I had made. The three of us then walked over to Prospect Park so that we could find a place to sit.

There were a number of people staring at us as we walked, a couple of giggles and more than a few people going “Look at the robot!” And then there was Tim who would run ahead so that he could film us walking. He said he wished he had a crane to shoot from, but I tried to point out to him that might not be the most practical thing in the world. We found a nice little spot a little off the main path that was shaded by some trees to sit under. Shade is very important, both to a girl with extremely fair skin and robots.

Tim spread out a blanket for us to sit (I say blanket, but I have since found out it was more like a kitchen curtain) and also brought out cider to drink and the cheesy hot dog cornbread muffins to eat. 011iver had sat on them so they were pretty crumbly. Hot dog chunks were everywhere. I politely suggested they try my cookies instead. Tim rated them a 36 (out of 36) and even 011iver liked the little piece he was able to eat. Getting to drink the cider was a bit of an adventure since the bottle required a bottle opener and none of us had one. 011iver managed to pop the seal with a key, but at this point the cider had been shaken up a little too much and started foaming out. This was a slight problem since Tim had also forgotten to bring napkins and cider is pretty damn sticky. 011iver rated the stickiness at about a 34.

While I was pouring the cider to drink, Tim and 011iver opened their presents: a Luke Skywalker Lego Star Wars pen for Tim and a tie clip for 011iver. My gift was a MBILF mug and some Tonka fruit flavored snacks since they couldn’t find any gummi bears. 011iver and I toasted (a couple of times because of course Tim had to make sure he got it filmed) and then poor 011iver dropped his cup. Luckily it did not end up on me. It did make that part of the blanket even sticker though.

As we were talking, we kept having people come up to us and ask to take pictures of 011iver. They seemed to be quite surprised that we were having a date, but I didn’t mind them interrupting us since it would show 011iver that lots of people like robots. There were even 2 cute girls that wanted their picture taking with 011iver – and said that they would go out on a date with him as well. I told 011iver it was obvious that all he needed was a female wingman to go out with him. He said that Tim was a bit of a female, but I just don’t think Tim would look all the good in a dress. We need to get Chuck to take 011iver out – he’d totally get a date then.

Tim had brought along the Connect Four game, so 011iver and I played a round. I actually could have won, but my sleep & food deprived / cider drinking brain completely missed it until after I had dropped my piece in. 011iver ended up winning, which is probably a good thing because I think he would have been rather upset if he lost. As it was, he took a victory lap around the blanket (although, I will admit that I did suggest it).

It was right after the end of the Connect Four game when The Hick Asshole showed up. At first I thought he was drunk, but then it dawned on me that it was just his Southern accent. He was asking what we were doing, and got very upset when he found out we were on a date. He started spouting some crap that humans and robots shouldn’t interact with each other. Tim stepped in and took the guy off to the side, but 011iver and I could still hear the guy arguing. It ended with THA yelling that he didn’t want to see us around there again, and that he was going to be coming back with his friends to make sure.

This spooked Tim and 011iver, who said they have dealt with guys like that before. They were sure that THA would be back with his friends and that it wasn’t worth it to get into a fight. After seeing the Run, Robot, Run video, I do know why neither one would want to get into a physical confrontation. So that was the end of our date. :( I am very sad because I was having fun. I didn’t even mind that Tim was being all filmmakery and stuff.

So Tim and 011iver packed up and went home. I decided that I would try to catch the 4:30pm bus back to Binghamton since no one else (like strifey or Siege) decided to visit me while I was in NYC. Bastards – I even brought them presents. But no, they just suck.

So it was back to the subway, past all the religious nutters in the tunnel (they had gotten even more vocal in the hour or so since I had seen them) and up to the third floor for the Binghamton bus. This was when I was very, very glad I had brought my iPod since there was a screaming kid in line for our bus. He was screaming in line and continued even after the bus pulled away. I ended up falling asleep, but when the bus stopped at another station, I woke up and the kid was still crying loudly. Yet one more reason why not to have children.

I finally made it back to the house at around 9:30pm. I had to stop for a bite to eat since the only thing I ate all day was the bagel with Rose and I was far too tired to actually cook. That and I developed quite the blister on the arch of my foot and can no longer stand properly on my foot. I uploaded the photos I took during the day to my Flickr and then passed out in bed which was much more comfortable than the seats on the bus. I swear those seats are designed to support your back in all the wrong places.

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3 Responses to “My Date With 011iver”


  1. Dude, this recap is awesome. I love things being on a scale of 36. And I am also now hungry for cookies that are a 36.

  2. Gupfee

    Rowan’s cookies are so good they reset the scale!

  3. Chuck Q.

    Glad you had a nice time, Rowan, even if it did have to be cut short. Can’t wait to see Tim’s footage!