The TARP “Puppetmasters” True Identities

Even though I have a bounty on my head, this issue is important enough to come out of hiding. The Troubled Assets Relief Program Alternate Reality Game is going to corrupt our nations children and I have pledged to help do all they can to stop the TARP ARG.

I have the dubious honor of knowing three of these so-called TARP Puppetmasters, and I’ve now completed research on the other two, so I can bring you the facts about who they truly are.

Brian Cain is an ALIEN!

Brian Cain

Brian Cain is an Alien! As you can see by his photo, he cannot even be photographed normally with our current technology. This is not the first time this phenomenon has been captured – see this dessicated alien head found in Derbyshire garden that shows the same properties.

This alien is running a so-called Educational ARG to mold the thinking of the children of America. This is a lie! It’s obvious that he is just brainwashing them so that they will be more compliant to the alien take-over of the world that is coming within the next twenty years. It’s a long game, but a very effective one – UNLESS WE STOP THEM NOW!

<b>Brian Clark</b>

Brian Clark

Brian Clark is a self-proclaimed mutant, a secret masked dancer, and a general rabble rouser when it comes to ARG META issues. His eloquence belies the insidious nature of his comments. He talks about “love and support in my heart for this community” when it’s obvious he is just playing the upstanding members of the community so that they do not look to closely at what he is really saying. I’ve taken the time to go through all 200+ posts of his on the Unfiction forum, and have discovered a secret message running throughout: ALIENS R GREAT! We should all be outraged that this man-mutant is shaping the minds of our children!

Dee Cook

Dee Cook

Dee Cook is a Bambi killer and a hater of arachnophobics. Spend any amount of time around her, and she will casually suggest that you take a look at a picture. More often than not, these seemingly innocent suggestions are just her way of terrifying you as you are suddenly confronted with images of killer spiders! Is it any wonder that the IRC community has banded together and boycotted any links that she may give them? Of course not! If hardened IRC veterans are disturbed at what she so casually flings about, just imagine how scarred your children will be!

<b>Steve Peters</b>

Steve Peters

It’s a little known fact that mimes are natural alien repellents. This must be why Steve Peters’ new company No Mimes Media was formed – to spread anti-mime propaganda that would curtail their ability to fight aliens. There are also rumors spreading that Mr. Peters’ “Guess the TV Theme” mp3s on Twitter are filled with subliminal messages that promote his anti-mime agenda and the TARP conspiracy. Twitterers playing his little game should think twice about clicking on the links lest they become corrupted by the subliminal messages he is hiding.

<b>Lance Weiler</b>

Lance Weiler

Lance Weiler is not strictly an alien, but is the product of them. The “Empty Child” syndrome, as it is now known, turns individuals into gas mask wearing, soulless zombie-type creatures, who wander the streets looking for affection. Whatever you do, DO NOT touch these types of individuals. You will be turned into one of them – gas mask and all! If confronted by one of these poor creatures and are unable to escape, sternly give it a command like a parent to a four year old to leave you alone. If that doesn’t work, running away should.

In order to help spread the word about the TARP ARG, I have created a series of protest signs. Please feel free to use these to spread the word and to help fight against TARP.

alien mutant bambi mimes
child stop children
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